Things You Don’t Want to Hear in Church

From the Sacred Sandwich
“Dude, I’m gonna hafta call you back. We’re about to pray or something.”
“Boo-oooo!”
“The pastor looks really cute today.”
“Mommy, my tummy doesn’t feel good. I think I’m gonna throw uh—erpleeeeeck!” (Accompanied by a splashing sound against my seat.)
“Hey there, ladies… nice bibles. You come here often?”
“Zzzzzzzzzz…”
“Sweet! I just scored the last Krispy Kreme at [...]