Below is a short article from Charles Swindoll. To be honest this is a subject that hits close to home with me as I make some important decisions in the next few weeks. Pastor’s kids seem to live under the microscope and the return for living such a lifestyle usually results in unfavorable ways. This article came across my path and has helped me to consider other factors pertaining to my situation.

Okay, let’s be honest. How’s it going with you and the kids? Maybe that question doesn’t even apply to you. You may have already raised your brood and had them leave the nest. But I have a hunch that many of you pastors are still in the process of training and rearing . . . so—how’s it going? What word(s) would you use to describe your overall relationship with your offspring?

• Challenging • Impossible • Adventurous • Exciting • Strained • Angry • Heartbreaking • Fun • Pleasant • Threatening • Impatient • Busy

If you want to get your eyes open to the real facts, ask your kids at the supper table this evening. Ask them to describe their feelings about you and the home. But I better warn you—it may hurt! However, it could be the first step back in the right direction toward harmony and genuine love being restored under your roof. Remember, that’s an important qualification for us as pastors (1 Timothy 3:4–5).

Needless to say, having a Christian home—even a pastor’s home—is no guarantee against disharmony. The old nature can still flare up, habits can be set in concrete that lead to broken communication lines, and biblical principles can be ignored.

Face the truth, my friend. Stop right now and think about your home. Now, an evaluation is no good if all it leads to is guilt and hurt. To stop there would be like a surgeon stopping the operation immediately after making his incision. All it would leave are hurt feelings, a lot of pain, and a nasty scar.

Why not bite off a chunk of time this spring for a single purpose—to evaluate the present condition of your home and then to set in motion the necessary steps needed to strengthen the weaknesses you uncover.


About Chuck Mullis

I am the husband of Valerie and the father of Russell & Hannah. I am a self-employed contractor living in rural North Carolina as well as an ordained Southern Baptist Minister serving Living Water Baptist Church.

One response »

  1. Mona Jones says:


    I will speak from my heart. I did not have the added pressure of raising my children in a pastor’s home. However, we have had others looking at us trying to tear us down, some within the family. Having said that, my conviction has been to not shelter my children too much. I feel they need to be exposed to the world while they were young and I could explain to them God’s view of whatever situation they asked me about, such as homosexuality. Now, I did not allow them to watch things on tv such as The Simpsons.

    I learned early that I had to do what I felt like God, not other people wanted me to do. As long as we do that, we can be assured that we are on the right track. Ultimately, when they are grown, they will have to decide,just as we did, which path to follow.

    And with that, I will stop my pontificating. Just remember that you, your wife, and little ones are often in my prayers.

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