Over at the Mars Hill Blog they have posted a couple of articles about how to have harmony in your marriage. One view is from the husband while the other view is from the wife. There are some thought provoking statements for both sides, and it is definitely worth your time. Here is an excerpt from pastor Phil Smidt:

5 Things That Won’t Guarantee Compatibility, Cut Can Help

Let’s take a closer look at five practical ways married couples can grow in connecting with one another while fighting for unity.

1. Remind each other what you appreciate and admire about one another.

Chances are, those qualities are still there, but you have allowed sin and selfishness to creep in and cloud your view.

Sure enough, Jen frustrates me at times. But when I stop and think about her creativity, spontaneous ideas, cute smile, beautiful eyes, and godly character, I have a difficult time becoming resentful and bitter.

2. Remember that it is not God’s intent to conform your spouse into your image and likeness.

I love the fact Jen and I are so different. That is, until we are engaged in a disagreement. Then I begin to wonder, “Why can’t she see this like I do?”

Truth be told, I would hate to be married to myself. But in the heat of the moment, I convince myself she needs to be conformed into my image, forgetting that God promises to conform her into his image.

3. Be thoughtful.

I often get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to take daily time to connect with Jen. When I take the time to intentionally send her a text, give her a hug, or ask how her day went, she knows I have actually been thinking about her.

4. Be thankful.

It takes a supernatural intervention by the Holy Spirit to make us thankful. Our tendency is to compare and complain. “Be thankful” is a lifestyle command in scripture, not a suggestion or something we do once a year in November.

On a drive across eastern Washington, I asked Jen what we had to be thankful for as a couple. Three hours later, we were still talking when we crossed the state border.

5. Pray together.

God will do his best work in your marriage when you are in prayer. Prayer acknowledges our need for God and our worship of him.

Jen and I need to fight for making time together to pray as a couple. Be aware, the enemy hates it when you pray with your spouse.


About Chuck Mullis

I am the husband of Valerie and the father of Russell & Hannah. I am a self-employed contractor living in rural North Carolina as well as an ordained Southern Baptist Minister serving Living Water Baptist Church.

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